I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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