please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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