pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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