Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
