i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
