It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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