Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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