i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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