this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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