Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
