I will die if light touches me.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
