So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude i'm inner monologue high
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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