Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
