Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I AM VODKA MAN
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
