my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
