So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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