I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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