she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
