thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
