Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
