I bet he comes in French.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
3pm strippers are depressing
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
