as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
