you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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