Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
