I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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