I've blown a few things in my day
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
MIDGETS
????
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
