I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
