your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
