this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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