Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
