I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
