so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
