I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize