ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I love having hate sex.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
