Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
