my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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