i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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