Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
