Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
