I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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