dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
