her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
