Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
