ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
