And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
