So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
