Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
