Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
