you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize