Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize