people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
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Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
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A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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