never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
