I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
